Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog

Star from Posh bets he won’t serve nosh
May 24, 2010, 6:34 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags:

Meeeeester Fry, que?

A WORLD Cup wager will put a Posh striker in hell’s kitchen unless England can cook up a Michelin star performance this summer.

The bet could see Peterborough United striker Craig Mackail Smith (26) swap balls for bills as he puts in shifts working at his favourite Italian restaurant.

Co-owner of Toscanini, Paolo Bianchi made an offer that if England progress further than his beloved Azzuri he will clean the frontman’s boots all next season.

However, should reigning champions Italy advance further, Craig will have to put in 10 shifts washing pots and cleaning tables at the restaurant in Peterborough Road, Eye.

Goal ace Craig said: “I don’t know what I’ve got myself into – I have left myself at Paolo’s discretion.

“I have got a lot of confidence that England will do the business though. We have a great manager and a brilliant squad and I think we could go all the way.

“I have never worked in a restaurant before but I have known Paolo for years so I have been behind the bar and I’m sure I could pull a pint or two.”

The pair have also agreed that if the two teams are knocked out at the same stage they will both take their forfeits like good sports.

The pair have been friends for three years but Paolo said he is not going to give Craig any preferential treatment if he works at Toscanini.

He said: “I will make sure that the glasses pile up 25 metres high and put him on washing up duty. In a perfect world Italy will beat England in the final, then Craig can clean up while we celebrate.”

Paolo was born and bred in Peterborough and despite the bet he is still hoping England do well in South Africa.

He said: “Since we opened in 1995 we always have both flags up during football tournaments.

“My parents came over to Peterborough in the 1950s but my partner (Nety Cole) is English and my children Jessica and Isabella were raised as both nationalities.”

Paolo runs the restaurant with his sister Rosanna Lester, who is seeing the bet as a win-win situation.

Rosanna said: “My brother would hate having to clean Craig’s boots for a whole season so that would be hilarious. But it would also be great being able to order a footballer around, so I can’t really lose.”


Business limericks

Seeing as I’ve been slack with updates during the business end of the season, here are 10 lovely limericks to remember the biggest moments of the run-in.

Enjoy my verse; I am the 21st century Betjeman.


1. Spurs get into the European Champions League

Spurs travlled away to Manchester City,
Knowing that anything but a win would be shitty,
Then Crouchy scrambled a goal,
‘Arry has made diamonds from coal,
But they’ll still go out in August to Dynamo Tblisi.


2. Hull, Burnley, Portsmouth are relegated

It was over before the last day of the season,
The three teams relegated went with good reason,
Awful boardroom decisions,
Now no more Premier visions,
To say any will be back soon is tantamount to treason.


3. Chelsea win the Premiership despite long term injuries to Essien, both Coles and the African Nations Cup

The race at the top had a lot more steam,
Chelsea are clearly the league’s best regime,
Despite a huge injury list,
Their wasn’t a last minute twist,
Now Man U ‘fans’ wish they picked a different team.

4. Drogba bags the Golden Boot despite last day paddy about a penalty

The golden boot he wanted to nick,
So Drogba tried to steal a spot kick,
Lampard wouldn’t let him,
But he scored three on a whim,
So despite the prize Drofba still looked like a dick.

5. Schteve McLaren wins the Dutch league

A rare success abroad for an English boss,
McLaren crusaded without a Jerusalem cross,
Going to Holland a great decision
He won their top division,
Now he can finally forget that Croatia loss.






6. Fulham lose the Europa League final

Fulham took on all comers from the Alps to the Fjord,
Getting to the Europa Cup final was there big reward,
They went on to lose,
But don’t get the blues,
Because at least Woy got his manager of the year award.

7. Leicester miss out on Play Off final due to a mental French striker

Leicester battled to an aggregate draw in the Valleys,
To come from two down was one of the greatest rallies,
Then with his spot kick,
Yann Kermagont was a dick,
Now he can never walk alone down any Leicestershire alleys.

8. England squad announced – old boys Ledley King & Jamie Carragher recalled

Fabio announced his provisional squad,
Some of the 30 names were rather odd,
Dad’s Army agree to enlist,
Old men back from the abyss,
To win it now may need intervention from God.

9. Chelsea complete the double after winning the FA Cup against Portsmouth

Ancelotti wrapped up a great first year,
Pompey went empty handed back to the pier,
Drogba’s goal won it,
The double is legit,
And the ghost of Mourinho may now disappear.

10. Lord Trieseman resigns as Head of the FA after being filmed making mental allegations against rival World Cup bidders

England’s World Cup bid is in tatters,
We’ve offended everyone who matters,
Triesman stupidly talked,
So now he has walked,
And our reputation is worse than Sepp Blatter’s.