Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog


Business limericks

Seeing as I’ve been slack with updates during the business end of the season, here are 10 lovely limericks to remember the biggest moments of the run-in.

Enjoy my verse; I am the 21st century Betjeman.

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1. Spurs get into the European Champions League

Spurs travlled away to Manchester City,
Knowing that anything but a win would be shitty,
Then Crouchy scrambled a goal,
‘Arry has made diamonds from coal,
But they’ll still go out in August to Dynamo Tblisi.

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2. Hull, Burnley, Portsmouth are relegated

It was over before the last day of the season,
The three teams relegated went with good reason,
Awful boardroom decisions,
Now no more Premier visions,
To say any will be back soon is tantamount to treason.

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3. Chelsea win the Premiership despite long term injuries to Essien, both Coles and the African Nations Cup

The race at the top had a lot more steam,
Chelsea are clearly the league’s best regime,
Despite a huge injury list,
Their wasn’t a last minute twist,
Now Man U ‘fans’ wish they picked a different team.

4. Drogba bags the Golden Boot despite last day paddy about a penalty

The golden boot he wanted to nick,
So Drogba tried to steal a spot kick,
Lampard wouldn’t let him,
But he scored three on a whim,
So despite the prize Drofba still looked like a dick.

5. Schteve McLaren wins the Dutch league

A rare success abroad for an English boss,
McLaren crusaded without a Jerusalem cross,
Going to Holland a great decision
He won their top division,
Now he can finally forget that Croatia loss.

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6. Fulham lose the Europa League final

Fulham took on all comers from the Alps to the Fjord,
Getting to the Europa Cup final was there big reward,
They went on to lose,
But don’t get the blues,
Because at least Woy got his manager of the year award.

7. Leicester miss out on Play Off final due to a mental French striker


Leicester battled to an aggregate draw in the Valleys,
To come from two down was one of the greatest rallies,
Then with his spot kick,
Yann Kermagont was a dick,
Now he can never walk alone down any Leicestershire alleys.

8. England squad announced – old boys Ledley King & Jamie Carragher recalled

Fabio announced his provisional squad,
Some of the 30 names were rather odd,
Dad’s Army agree to enlist,
Old men back from the abyss,
To win it now may need intervention from God.

9. Chelsea complete the double after winning the FA Cup against Portsmouth

Ancelotti wrapped up a great first year,
Pompey went empty handed back to the pier,
Drogba’s goal won it,
The double is legit,
And the ghost of Mourinho may now disappear.

10. Lord Trieseman resigns as Head of the FA after being filmed making mental allegations against rival World Cup bidders

England’s World Cup bid is in tatters,
We’ve offended everyone who matters,
Triesman stupidly talked,
So now he has walked,
And our reputation is worse than Sepp Blatter’s.

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