Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog


Yet more nails in the pundit coffin
March 15, 2010, 9:50 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags: ,

Becks' life's got turned upside down by his Achilles heel

It’s been an exciting day for TV executives. BBC and ITV both presumably acquired new pundits for the World Cup, with newly crocked David Beckham and newly jobless Phil Brown almost certain to join their media circuses.

Becks won’t be playing in the World Cup after a heel injury that his Tinseltown buddy Brad ‘Achilles’ Pitt will empathis with.

Old Goldenballs is a sure-fire addition to the BBC: suave, presentable, objective.

Phil Brown won’t be in the Premiership again any time soon, after Hull City realised he stopped actually being their manager over a year ago and finally gave their most prosperous manager an altogether strongly deserved sacking.

Browny is an ITV pundit in waiting: incomprehensible, irrelevant and weird looking.

Poor old David Beckham. He could have been lifting the World Cup while Mandela gently weeps. Now he’s being compared (albeit favourable) to an orange monkey who thinks he’s all that because Fat Sam Allardyce welded a microphone to his head.

Still, it could be worse for DB23. Usually his life is ruined after a World Cup (1998 red card, 2002 not being fit, 2006 penalty miss). This year chances are he’d have punched a referee or headbutted a cheerleader.

At least this time he’s got the pain over and done with in March, so he’ll be able to enjoy himself in the summer.

Becks bounced back in an alternative profession

I’m a big fan of Becks but there is a chance he would have had a couple of off games at the World Cup, and all the morons on ITV (such as Phil Brown, probably) would have said he’s ruined a legacy.

Despite being a great player, the fact is he has always had pretty rubbish international tournaments.

This injury means he can avoid having one, and we can all imagine he would have been the Beckham we see every 23 months, rather than the frankly average one we do 1 month during international tournaments every two years (barring McLaren tenures).

And it’s not too bad to be Phil Brown. He probably earned a couple of million out of being sacked, and will no doubt end up starting next season with a team comprable to Hull City back in the Championship.

Brown will feel hard done-by because he was Hull City’s greatest ever manager. But he should realise that he stopped being that manager 14 months ago.

Evidence of some of Phil’s more astute tactics

The sacking of Phil Brown is great news for the Premiership, as if they get in a decent manager (see Coppell, avoid Megson) they will probably stay up. That means there will be something interesting at the bottom come the end of the season, as the bottom three were looking pretty abject.

So at the end of the day, Phil Brown, David Beckham and football in general all benefit from these recent ‘tragedies’ blighting their life.

And cheer up fellas, this John Cusack film I saw told me the world ends in 2012, so don’t mope around too much, yo.

Cheer up DB and PB, the end times are upon us...

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