Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog

Billionaire owners are bums
February 15, 2010, 10:47 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags:

This fine pun is, ruefully, now obsolete

All good things come to an end, and this fine film pun is now one of them. For as of this week, Notts County now have as many Sven Goran Erikssons as my bedroom does. For the record, that is none.

Yes it’s true, wipe away your tears. The silky lothario has kicked his last bottle of shampoo in the Meadow Lane dressing room, after the Swede skulked out of Nottingham last week.

The last straw for the increasingly disillusioned Mr Burns lookalike was when the Sheikh who brought him to the club ran away, selling it for a quid to a man far too English to interest Svennis.

Everyone in the Notts County office has woken up at the crack of a (false) dawn.

It’s a sad end to a story that could have really shaken things up, with Notts County seemingly ready to ‘do a Gretna’ through the leagues. It wasn’t to be, and now they’re just left with a murderer up front and a ghost in goal.

The upshot in the short term is that Nottingham’s karaoke scene will have one less Scandinavian client. You should have sympathy for him, he is a lovely man but to quote the song – don’t forget that he’s from Sweden.

For the problem is wider than the problems affecting just one Nordic legend.

Similar false dawns seem to be appearing at all the places where ‘billionaires’ recently took over. God knows what is happening at Portsmouth. They have had as many owners this year as Avram’s had massages, and despite what his wife says, that’s not a good thing.

The fact that this update went with League Two Notts County first rather than Premiership Pompey alludes to what a shambles the south coast club find themselves in. Frankly, I have no idea who or what has messed up there so I’m steering clear.

That Fat Portsmouth Owner, yesterdayBut it’s clear to see that the fat man (left) who was at the centre of the Manchester City and Portsmouth takeovers is some kind of a Walter Mitty character. What exactly are the due and proper ownership tests?

Moving onto something a little more tangible than the never-ending mess at Portsmouth, QPR are apparently the richest club in the world. Yet they have experienced just as much chaos off the pitch as their peers at Pompey.

Rangers have now sacked so many managers this year that Mick Harford has got a chance at the club.

I implore QPR fans to ignore Football League show Sundit Nick Reinis to back the pathetic leadership shown by their board. Only a charlatan would support this dystopian regime and I personally think anyone endorsing such nonsense is almost certainly a klandestine Chelsea fan.

Despite the billionaires in the boxes, they have spent no real cash and certainly seen no discernable improvement since a boardroom of Formula One suits rocked up a couple of years ago.

Dr. Pearson's new club badge surprised some Foxes fans

The same thing can be seen to a lesser extent at my beloved Leicester City, where the much anticipated arrival of Milan Mandaric ushered in an era of loan signings and a relegation.

That we are now playing with a swashbuckling swagger reminiscent of V of the Vendetta fame is more to do with the old school approach of Nigel Pearson than anything off the pitch.

Some multi-millionaires who strut into football clubs do live up to the fanfare. Chelsea, Manchester City and (dare I say it) Manchester United have all improved their performances since recent foreign takeovers.

Yet why is it that so many other football chairmen are proving analagous to Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, taking over as immense successes only to totally mismanage a club into the ground?

I can only imagine that business is actually really, really easy. People like us just assume it’s hard, whereas thinking people’s champion Mike Ashley is cranking up the millions.

In this paradigm, football is the ‘real world’ where people get found out as fanatasists and the business world is a playground for folly.

Therefore I can only conclude that if Joey Barton was made Chancellor of the Exchequer we would be out of the credit crunch within a couple of hours.

And by the end of the week we’d all be driving hovercars powered by water by the end of the week.

And Haiti would be sorted out too, come to think of it.

All we need to do now is find a way to contact David Icke to get the shapeshifting lizards out the way to lay the path for Joey’s ascention to the job.

The smell of revolution is in the air!

With Joey as our leader the world is our oyster, “and what’s more, we’ll be a lobster my son” – Kipling


1 Comment so far
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Notts County’s sad loss will be another clubs infinite gain. The legend that is Sven-Goran Eriksson moves on and the perfidity he has experienced in recent years cannot reduce his amazing record and reputation.
I am still very proud to “be Sven” and enjoy representing him as a career.

Comment by Svenalike

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