Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog

Enjoying the Superb Owl with American friends
February 8, 2010, 8:18 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags:

The Syperb Owl: An American Tradition

As a whole country gets immersed into a one-off sporting event that deciphers who has supreme bragging rights for another year, it would be foolish for this football blog to ignore it.

Wasn’t the Blackpool vs Leicester City game great? I was delighted it was the main event on Nick Reinis’ Football League Show this week.

However, instead of focusing all my attention on that barnstorming encounter I should also pay reverence to the Superb Owl tournament match.

The Red Indian Colts lost 30 touchdowns to 17 interceptions agains the New Orleans Pistolwhippers.

That’s what it looks like to read an English person writing about American Football. To an educated person, who watches a sport that is more about languid skill than it is repetitive, repetitive, repetitive drills, it may seem to be a witty repost to a tedious sport.

However, to an American it may be misconstrued as erroneous reporting.

This shows the fickleness of the audience rather than the journalist, who is almost always right (only wrong if they are Jan Moir).

For this reason, I have decided to celebrate the Superb Owl by pimping out my page to my American friend Vortex O’Yankypants for one week only.

His reporting will bring together both sides of the Atlantic: it will help Americans understand the Beautiful Game if it is written about by one of their own, and it will help English people get over the genuinely weird feeling of people like Jake Humphreys pretending they understand/care about American Football.

Over to you, Mr O’Yankypants.


“So… I will try to not write this like American girls do their Facebook updates.

Well… I will try my best.

Life. Love. Gaga. Love.

Anyway, onto the soccer ball.

My favourite piece of soccernews this seven day perium is the great idea of Egyptian LEGEND Mido.

Way to go Mido!

The great goal man Mido had the awesome idea to totally bypass the wage most EPL Premier League stars get and accept 1/40th the amount of cheese for his strings.

It’s so fiscally great.

He is a great goal taker and a great guy too.

Life. Gaga. Love.

Whereas most EPL kickerball guys take home enough money to have a Totally Super Sweet 16th Birthday every day, Mido will only be able to have one once a month.

He is earning just 1,000 pound sterlingfied a week. That’s 4,000 pound supercash a month and 52,000 pound stalingrad a year.

Oh my god he is such a great guy. He has like totally turned around his career. I like totally used to think he was a doppleganger for Richard Reid but now because he’s on like totally less money I totally think he’s a rad guy and he has made the best turnaround since Mel Gibson (<3 BRAVEHEART).

Love. Gaga. Inspire. Life.

So Mido is now playing for West Ham United (Go Russell Brent! Katy Perry is sooo cool too).

Even though he’s totally garbage and won’t score more than three goals (all bobbling in after hitting his recterial bowl) he is a total inspiration since signing for the Upton Park Terriers.




What is a Taoiseach?

More players should do the same thing. I would absolutely ❤ Salif Diao if he returned to the EPL Premier League (English Division) One if he was on £.001m a week as well.

Gaga. Adore. Dance.”


And there you have it. The astute descriptions of the latest goings on in the Premiership from American correspondant Vortex O’Yankypants.

Any Americans who don’t quite understand, this laboured analogy, the above is an insult to the English media’s embarrassing attempts to make American Football compatable to the English public.

The joke is on us, not on you.

Put away your guns.

The whole thing seems so contrived and forced upon the British people, who have no tradition nor real reason to care whenther Culturally Unknown State #22 beats Culturally Unknown State #43 in a game invented by people whose country was born out of not wanting to be us.

As Peter Griffin would say: “it insists upon itself Lois, it insists upon itself.”

That’s not to say I’m sure it’s not good fun for the few English people who actually like American Football for the sport and not for the cultural fad (slash attnetion seeking).

Leicester's Peyton Manning: not as successful a number 18 as Matty Elliott

Leicster's Peyton Manning: not as good a number 18 as Matty Elliott

But the long and short of it is this: English people are not ready for sports like American Football that replace intangible artistry and unpredictability with big numbers and repetition, repetition, repetition.

For those people I say variety is the spice of life, and who can forget we had five Spice Girls each to cater fora different demographic. And they made it on both sides of the Atlantic too.

But if you told more people that Payton Manning used to play for the Leicester Panthers, the viewing figures in Britain would be TOTALLY AWESOME!!

repetitio n

1 Comment so far
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English people dig repetition too!

This is possibly the only time I’ll get to use The Fall to justify liking American football, thanks!

Comment by longballtactic

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