Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog


Red Nev: A frustrating man
November 6, 2009, 8:55 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags: , , ,

Gary Nevil

Britain's most annoying person ever and Jeremy Beadle

Gary Neville is a lot of things: a footballer, spiteful, 30% moustachieoud, lonely, evangelical and infuriating.

However, could we now add cheeky prankster to the mix?

After 15 years of winding people up for being a jumped up yet watered down Mancunian version of Arthur Scargill, Neville Sr has annoyed countless football fans across the country with his pathetic efforts to prove how much of a “red” he is.

Needless to say, nobody doubts how much he was when he wrote “UNITED” in 15 foot flowers infront of his house, as was exposed on Google Earth.

He has danced in front of Man City fans and goaded Liverpool supporters after home wins.  He has organised a media boycott (and apparently almost a full walk out) from the international team because the press had the temerity to criticise Rio Ferdinand for missing a drugs test.

Such incidents, plus the continual banal chatter you’d expect from an institution of one of the most arrogant institutions in the world, made him a hate figure all over the country.

However, with one comment I have decided that maybe, just maybe, I am starting to warm to him.

His accusation that Manchester United fans’ appaling hooliganism at Oakwell in the Cup game against Barnsley was probably the best footballing wind-up since Peter Kenyon professed his love for Chelsea after leaving Neville’s beloved Red Devils.

Here’s what Gaz had to say about the incidents that saw Manchester United scumbags throwing missiles at stewards, looting catering facilities and scaring the staff so much they felt the need to lock themselves in a cupboard until the police arrived.  This is not hearsay – the club have graciously admitted their fans were in the wrong and have agreed to the £10,000 fine.

Still, here’s what their club captain had to say about the shameful events.

“United fans got boisterous. They do. But anything that happens with us gets blown out of proportion.”

Amazing. Even in the most pure evidence of MUFC fans acting like the arrogant scumbags they are so often accused of, Gary thinks they are still the bastions of footballing righteousness.  After all it was only little old Toby Tyke FC, hey Gazza?

If only such approaches were taken about other footballing hooligan incidents.

Kenny Dalglish on the Heysel incident: “Yeah our Scouse boys get a bit lairy and chased after some foreigners. That’s what they do!”

Bobby Robson after John Barnes got bananas thrown at him: “Yeah, our English fans are racists. That’s what they do!”

Gary Galatasary on the Leeds stabbings: “What of it?  Our ultras enjoy a good murderous rampage. That’s what they do!”

I can’t believe Red Nev (as he no doubt loves to be known) really believes that the Manchester United fans were doing nothing at all.  If someone had the temerity to treat the hallowed staff at Old Trafford in the same way, I genuinely think Gary might cry.

No, I believe Gary has seen this as his way of remaining relevant.  He knows he can’t hack it on the pitch so has decided that instead of being a dispicable scummer on it, he’s going to court controversy off it.

Here’s more evidence to my theory;

Well congratulations Gary, you’ve accomplished your mission of becoming a media wind-up merchant.  Now why don’t you retire, get a job on Talk Sport and spend all your days on the wind-up.

Also we wouldn’t be able to see your attempt at a ‘tache.

Also someone might actually call you.

Also you couldn’t be as crap there as you are on the pitch now.

Also Phil was always a better player as well.

Also David doesn’t miss you in Los Angeles.

OH NO HE DI’NT!!!!!

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