Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog

Foot-tube fails and fergie has yet another whinge!
October 12, 2009, 7:56 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog

TSC is back from an enforced absence due to a house move, and a loss of form akin to Rio Ferdinand is expected by all readers.  I hope I do not disappoint.

The best thing I’ve noticed since my disappearance is that advert with Thierry Henry stealing razors from Roger Federer.  If you listen closely at the end there is a subliminal, chilling, almost ghost-like squeal of “Henry”.  It helps me keep the gloom at the door.

Anyway, hopefully Kelly Clarkson predicted correctly and since I’ve been gone you’ve been able to breath for the first time and you’re soldiering on, yeah yeah.



ENGLAND internet

After I blew up the internet football bubble about a year ago, it’s been quite obvious that the world of the triple w’s is the natural home of football analysis and languid reflection.  However, some bods over in Ukraine have decided to turn it from post-match to pronto-match coverage.

That’s right, I’m talking the only way football fans could watch England’s totally meaningless game against Ukraine was by hooking up to the web.  Sadly, not even host and culture guru James Richardson could save the shambles that followed.

Firstly, the pub which (legally) showed the stream on one of its pubs went through a traditional “how do you connect the internet” shambles, with the whole of the first half being replaced with watching someone trying to ‘View Available Networks’ for 45 minutes.

Then when the feed was sorted for the second half it was so grainy it looked like a SNES game.  You couldn’t tell where the ball was at any time, and just had to guess from where the cameraman was pointing.  Apparently that may have just been because it was being blown up from a laptop onto a screen that was far too big for it.  Either way, it was rubbish and you could hardly tell your Frank Lampards from your Emile Heskeys.

Come to think of it, maybe that’s a good way for Bruno to bolster his goal tally to shut up the idiots; just pretend it’s him who scored the goals.

Anyway, the newspaper coverage has been surprisingly positive.  Maybe they were watching it on a better connection (I’ve heard Dennis Wise has a really good one for YouTube).

Today, commentator David Pleat has been saying how it was a great success and how it will usher in a new era where football fans watch the games on the beach on their mobile phones.  I hope that never happens; the closest beach to me is Skegg Ness and I’d far sooner be in a pub than crouching over a 1 inch screen with only ‘The Pleatman’ for company.

Anyway, all-in-all watching internet football gets an ironic thumbs down from this internet football blog.

(Also, England lost 1-0.  I think a farmer scored and Rob Green got sent off or something).



In other news, Alex Ferguson has blown his top at another referee after another poor performance from Manchester United.  This time, the champions only just squeaking a draw against a fantastically organised Sunderland was, apparently, all the fault of referee Alan Wiley not being as fit as a professional footballer.

That’s right; Ben Foster and Rio Ferdinand were not to blame for either goal, and neither were Kenwyn Jones nor the on-fire Darren Bent deserving any credit.  The reason the score was 2-2 was because Alan Wiley was out of breath at one point during the match.

Surely even the ‘Glory Glory Man United’ brigade are getting bored by this tiresome moaner now.  If he wasn’t a football manager he would definitely be Points of View’s biggest contributor; he just loves a moan.

Anyway I don’t want to make this an overly negative look at one of football’s greatest winners; after all moaning about a moaner that would be dripping with as much irony as my previous ‘football on the internet’ piece.  Instead though, let’s compare Sir Alex to the other three ‘great’ British football managers.

alex ferguson darth vader
“It’s all Bobba Fett’s fault they blew up the Death Star – his fitness is totally lacking”

Although I wasn’t around to judge the other ‘greats’, it seems like they had a damn sight more about them than Sir Alex.  Although he has enjoyed a ridiculously successful career, the fact that he bullies people to get there is a huge blot against him.

Alf Ramsey stuck to his guns when things when they were going badly, kept a stiff upper lip, and won the World Cup.

Bill Shankley seemed to be intent on building Liverpool into a bastion that nobody could touch, rather than bitterly breaking down all those around him so they couldn’t even compete.

And even though Brian Clough turned to the drink and sacked all those around him, at least he looked for changes rather than spitting his dummy out every time things went bad.

Frankly, even Darth Vader had a more gracious acceptance of defeat.  Who can forget that loving embrace with his estranged son at the end of Episode VI?

Sadly, Ferguson’s reaction to any slight imperfection in his team is to scream as loud and as long as possible about literally any variables that dared to influence the game.  Even if, in the case of Alan Wiley’s fitness, they didn’t seem to have nearly as big an influence as his frankly weak and poorly organised team.


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[…] 153252 OF THE CLASSIC COMEDY SERIES ‘FERGIE GOES MENTAL ABOUT AN IMAGINARY EVENT’. In other news, Alex Ferguson has blown his top at another referee after another poor performance from Manchester United. This time, the champions … […]

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My local that shows the Prem 3pm kick-offs had it on telly from the middle east with English commentary. Glad I didn’t fork out for it. There’s the worry that all of what were Setanta’s FA Cup games (3 of 5 in the early rounds) could end up online though. Nobody’s bought the rights yet…

Comment by Lee Mc

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