Then Saturday Comes… the half decent football blog


Making my debut
December 2, 2008, 8:13 pm
Filed under: Mat Reville's Football Blog | Tags:

Blogs are the preserve of self-indulgent geeks.  This one will be no different.

My desire to become the new James Richardson has thus far proved unsuccesful (no doubt due to the monotone Midlands twang that has plighted me since birth).  However I’m not going to give up yet, and after I hit the world with some guerilla blogging action the radio offers will presumably come flooding in!


1. THE GREATEST FOOTBALL CLUB IN THE WORLD

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For those of you not too familiar with the beautiful game, the greatest football team in the world are Leicester City.  The club was formed as the final request of Charles I before his brutal murder.  As he was led  to the gallows, the doomed monarch said “in this dystopian future proposed by the republicans, there must be one constant.  That constant will forever be found at Filbert Street”.

Since then we have moved from Filbert Street to the soulless Walkers Stadium, and it’s never quite been the same.

The club is run by Winston Birchenall, a cantankerous old fart who is wheeled out at half time to ‘rally the fans into a frenzy’.  Sadly, despite Winston’s increasingly bizarre rants at the supporters,  the club has fallen on hard times, and we are currently plying our trade in the Third Division.  Despite sharing the same results page as such heavyweights as Yeovil, Hereford and the MK Dons, the Foxes are currently in 1st place and looking good for a promotion back to the Championship.

Leicester City will feature prominently in this blog, and if you don’t like it you can go croak on some toads.


2. THE ARSENAL DEBACLE

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Moving swiftly onto other matters, Arsenal’s William Gallas has responded with being stripped of the captaincy by putting in a storming performance in the 2-1 win at Stamford Bridge. Of course, the press has lept from saying Wenger’s a clown back to (the more accurate) Wenger’s a genius, but for me Arsenal have got no chance of finishing higher than 4th this year.

They are clearly lacking something.  I reckon they want to be a modern version of McLaren’s Middlesorough (the team that takes points off the big boys but don’t turn up for the less glamorous games).  Throw in a decent run in Europe and the analogy is complete.

Of course, I’m angling to annoy that most easily of wound-up fan, The Mockney Gooner.  Arsenal have much more about them than any team that featured Massimo Maccarone.  But the common ground between the two is probably affable chairmen.  Arsenal nor Boro will ever sack their manager, and for that reason there is a lack of stress about the place… it’s all a bit too leisurely and stale.

Obviously I’m not proposing and saying L’Arse should sack Wenger, but surely someone at the club should have the balls to say “err boss, have you ever noticed we have a shocking goalkeeper.  Also, I’ve noticed that Nicklas Bendtner isn’t exactly Alan Shearer”.

Arsene is indisputably Tony Soprano, but who is his Silvio Dante?


3. YES I CAN?

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There are two things you can guarantee in football – Derby County will cheat, and what I bet on will not happen.  For years I have been giving weekly stipends to my local bookie, with little or no return.  However something rather strange has started to happen; I have started to win.  Perhaps it’s the huge hegemonic shift in world ideologies since the election of the first WWF wrestler as a President.

The last three trips I have made to William Hills, I have given the cashier some money, and the slips they have given me in return have turned out to be worth more than the initial cash payment.  I had heard about such things happening, but never really believed that it did.  True, the bets have not been too exciting (Ronaldo first goal against Stoke, Gerrard first against Marseille, and Man U to beat Man City 1-0), but they have been surprising wins nonetheless.

With my new found confidence I breezed into the bookies this evening and placed a wopping fiver of my returns on an accumulator that stood to win me £50 if Arsenal, Stoke, Luton and Wycombe all win.  It should therefore come as a surprise to nobody that Arsenal lost at lowly Burnley, while Stoke succumbed to evil scumbags Derby County.  With this distressing return to normality I do hope that Barack’s not been shaking any strangers’ hands.

Of course, even more worrying is the 50% chance that Derby will beat Burnley in the Semi-Finals and progress to the Final of the League Cup.  If they draw Man U they will be in Europe no matter what.  That doesn’t even bear thinking about.

Anyway, that’s all for this inaugural post.  One would imagine that it will one day be sold for thousands of pounds like an original Batman comic, so keep it bookmarked on your computer.  Also, keep your eye’s peeled for future updates, and please feel free to post your comments below!

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1 Comment so far
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no mention of huddersfield town? sort it out reville

Comment by Simpson




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